Looking for Balance

One of the nicest things my daughter, Mary Jo ever said to me is that she thought I had achieved a nice balance in my life. At the time, she was right and I continue to strive for that balance, but it becomes elusive at times.

As the family grows bigger with new grandchildren and new outlaws (affectionate term for in-laws), It's harder to maintain contact and stay up to date with the crowd. Thankfully we live in the Internet age were greetings and photo's fly back and forth easily. But having those precious few moments with loved ones a difficult experience when the people you love are miles away.

The other challenge is the ability to stay in the moment. Enjoying today for what it brings instead of wishing it were the weekend or next month when supposedly better things will be happening is a difficult.

All of this is not out of the womb genetic code, although I note that some have an easier time than others. I think it's learned behaviour and some of us need to learn more. The tales of the career driven spouse that literally abandons the family to make money or achieve success in one area is the stuff of the Sunday Night Disease of the Week Movie. But stereotyping the role doesn't make it any less true. Many of us become absorbed in events to the extent that we lose a grip on the reality of our lives and become a myth in our own family.

Many a conquering hero ends up on the pillar of success and looks around to find he is alone.

Sitting by the Sea

Some of us are water people. I have heard it explained that man's attraction to water is rooted in the fact that at one time we were living in it before we evolved into the beings we are now. Kind of like my need to visit Ireland, the land of my ancestors. Others claim that our need for water in order to survive is the basis for or need to have it close by

I don't know what the real reason for the affection is but I'm hooked. We live about three blocks from Lake Michigan. Aside from the fact that we have a late summer algae problem that makes swimming disagreeable, Lake Michigan is an inspiring body of water. I've boated across her a couple of times and I can vouch for her temperament and demeanor. For the most part she is calm, cool and easy to get along with, but she can have her moments.

Looking out of the water is one of those activities that can reduce your significance in your own mind. Looking at stars at night can make us realize that in the scheme of things, individually we don't amount to much. Gazing out into the expanse of Lake Michigan can give you the same feeling. You sit for a while and watch an approaching boat. As it grows bigger you realize how large it appears on the shore and how small and frail it appears on the horizon.

In the last few days, I've had a lot on my mind. I found myself sitting by the lake and just contemplating my situation, my life. It wasn't that there were any answers on the waves that washed the sand beach, but somehow the important issues surfaced in my mind.

I guess it would pay to take a moment on a regular basis to sit by the water, realize that my problems are comparatively small and the like water, life gets more chaotic when the winds blow fierce, but just like the issues in our lives, they always abate sooner or later.

Feeeling Entitled

Brand Names, Positive or Negative

No one who talks or e-mails with me on a regular basis can be unaware of my recent conversion to the Mac format of computing. It's made my life tremendously easier and the transition was pretty easy. But make no mistake, I still like Microsoft and Dell and I will not say I would never go back or use a PC. It's just that the machines and software they are presenting don't fit my needs and I find them unnecessarily complicated and fussy.

But there are other brands that not only do I find I can get along without I find that I have visceral feelings about. Walmart is probably at the top of my list. General Motors, Ford and Chrysler have disappointed me but I don't dislike them.

Walmart, I am afraid to admit, I am adamant about avoiding. Recently my wife found out that she might be able to get her prescriptions filled for less money at the Walmart pharmacy. She actually felt she had to apologize to me for caving in. As it turns out, they couldn't do any better than the pharmacy we currently trade, so the matter went away and our integrity on this issue is intact.

I dislike Walmart for all of the liberal exploitation explanations, but it goes deeper than that. I don't think their policy of lowest price is in my long term best interest. I probably should do an essay on that, but suffice to say I don't think their offerings have total value. Total value to me is the quality of the product, the service after the sale and the price. When you deal with Walmart you can usually count on a low price and nothing else, and the wise buyer will even check the price, because the low price is not a given.

I don't like any of the national TV networks, but Fox is a hot button for me. I realize this brands me as a liberal. I don't deny that the right wing have the right to their propaganda outlet, but they don't even do it well. Their merciless beating on a subject with no substance is tiring and unprofessional for a station that touts it's journalistic credentials like a talisman. Obviously I am outside of the massive public audience that cares passionately about the love life of Brad Pitt, the rehabilitation of Lindsey Lohan and the antic's of Paris Hilton. And I'll be the first to admit that Fox's addiction to this type of "news" has influenced the other news providers. However, for the most part, they do not participate with the moment by moment, breathless enthusiasm of Fox and certainly not with the everything that happens in this moment depends on resolving the "truth" of this incident outlook with the endless parades of experts to tell us how we should think and why it matters.

I know that the brands we buy are suppose to say something about who we are. I guess that means that I'm a Kohl's person because I find most of the clothing I like at their store. However, I also shop at Lands End. I'm never sure what all of this means because rather than trying to exhibit a lifestyle, I'm try to cover my rapidly aging body against the elements. Adding to my confusion is my total lack of knowledge about what shopping at the Gap versus Old Navy means in the code of social value and status.

I support the brands I do because what they provide works for me. I don't think that makes me unique, but I'm sure it drives marketing people nuts. (Assuming they give a damn about my category.) I don't know if I can be pigeonholed in the marketing category ladder. I think I'm and Advanced Age Urban Empty Nester. but that can't be, because the acronym isn't sexy, AAUEN. It's sounds more like a mantra for meditation than a marketing category.

Vacation Over

I just got back from a weeks visit with my son's family in Seattle. Aside from the mind boggling concept of having to fly from Milwaukee to Detroit in order to get to Seattle, I have to say our flights were uneventful, and I consider that a compliment.

Seattle, as a city, has enough attractions by itself is reason enough to visit, but the attraction of spending extended time with my grand daughters is reason enough to visit. Devon, eight, is a wonderfully smart and imaginative child who is both athletic and intellectual. She had just returned from soccer camp and her favorite thing was to get "Poppa" off of his butt from the lounge chair on the patio to throw wiffle balls for her to hit with a plastic bat. We'd start with seven of balls and usually end up having to hunt down two or three of them from behind the neighbors fence.

Abbot is six. I predict she will be the first Jordan to win an Oscar, Emmy or Tony Award. She is a natural mugger and simply loves to make people laugh. She amused me with her running commentary during our viewing of "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" In one scene, Ferris disguised as his girl friends father picks her up from school so she can join him on a skip day. After she runs down the stairs to greet him she gives him a kiss. Abbott remarked that she wasn't kissing him like a Daddy.

Grand kids are the best thing that happen to you after you raise your own kids. they are a new promise of hope and a fresh start on the whole continuum, excuse me but, "the circle of life", as the Disney folks say. I am hugely proud of all of our kids and what they are accomplishing with their lives, but equally inspiring is the promise of these young ones. To be subjected to a solid week of them is to only feel the loss of their companionship when we returned home. I wish I had someone to pitch a wiffle ball for.

Cue the Orchestra.

There is a theory that each one of us subconsciously thinks of ourselves as the lead n our own life drama. Take notice that means everyone else is a bit player in our script of characters. This is an interesting way of thinking and might explain why everyone is eat plugged with their iPod. We are listening to the theme music.